It has been less than a week since I posted last, but it seems like it has been so much longer. Time is interesting when it seems so elastic…sometimes stretching forever, and sometimes flying by so quickly I can’t even catch my breath.
I am indeed, now divorced. It is such an anticlimax to getting married. I knew the court date, but my ex did not call me when it was over. I was divorced for a day and a half before I knew for sure. Just plain odd. I am not freaked out about it. I have absolutely no doubt that it was the only choice I had available that made sense, but the sadness and sense of failure is great. i did talk to him on Christmas, and I am still very hopeful that our relationship will continue in a friendly manner.
I have been in my new house (with the red door) for 10 days now. It is starting to come together. My sister and I had Christmas day all to ourselves. Poppa went to see our brother in Florida, and her ex had the niece and nephew. She came over and helped me unpack, arrange, etc. We boiled a pile of shrimp, made a salad that went untouched, and toasted garlic bread. It was incredibly difficult (5 stores?) to find horseradish to make our cocktail sauce with. She found prepared horseradish every place she went, then I stopped and found some at a wonderful Fresh Market that appeared in my absence from Atlanta. Neither of us really paid attention to the phrase on the bottle that said “Atomic very hot.” She was mixing it with ketchup and asked if it was the right color (we both like it stronger than most people). I said it looked good, and she popped a taste in her mouth. Her eyes bulged and she said, “Wowie zowie!” It was enough to make your nose run just from smelling it. She ended up having to mix almost the entire (smallish) bottle of ketchup in to make it edible.
Saturday she got the kids and we opened presents with them. They had a really good day even though we took them to Target too late at night. My sister and I both hit the wall at about the same time, and it seemed like midnight around 8pm. Thank goodness it was a low key weekend.
A few more things about the house. My dining room furniture set is way too big for the space, so we moved the buffet into the guest bedroom (that doesn’t have a bed yet). It seems to work, and with the drawers, can be used as a dresser when there is finally a bed. My bed finally got put together Sunday night, and Spencer is perturbed that he has to jump up onto it. I’m unsure how much physical difficulty it poses to him–he is old. I don’t want to have to get one of those little stairs for my dog to use to get int MY bed. Sheesh! One thing I love about the house is that it has lots of windows. I have to figure out what to do with them, though. I’d almost like to leave them without curtains, but that means I must wear clothes more regularly than is my general custom. Something will come to mind, I am sure.
One last note. My therapy has been going very well. I had such a hard time finding a therapist in Houston, it is a great relief to be back with SB. I do not remember what year I first saw her, but it was before 1991. That is the year Mother died and she actually came to the hospital to see me. She and i worked well together in my early 20’s as I was dealing with the craziness that was my childhood, and I have figured out more than a few things about the kind of men I choose and how I am in relationships that will be helpful if I ever decide to date again. It feels so good to be able to talk to somebody who I know “gets” me and has helped me be productive in the past.
I am looking forward to the New Year with anticipation. I still have work to do, but I at least feel like I am headed in the right direction. Who has plans for New Year’s?